Timed compare contrast

Compare and Contrast the goals and outcomes of the exploration process in the 15th and 16th centuries for China and Europe

China and Europe were two very different places, but in the 15th and 16th centuries they both had similar goals and outcomes of the exploration process. The societies of both these areas were trying to get advantages, however the Europeans had a specific group of people they were trying to take advantge of, whereas the Chinese had the world they wer trying to take dvantage of.....SHAKY AS A THESIS HERE, FIRST OFF, WERE THE CHINESE REALLY TRYING TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE WORLD? HMMM, I THINK MAYBE NOT, BUT THEN I LIKE YOUR ALLUSION TO EUROPE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF SPECIFIC GROUPS, IN THAT IT HIGHLIGHTS A MAJOR CONTRAST IN TERMS OF MOTIVATION...WITH MORE TIME, I THINK YOU WOULD HAVE CLARIFIED THIS, BUT AS IT STANDS IT IS NOT A CLEAR THESIS-MrViles 6/7/09 4:07 PM
The societies of both these areas were trying to get advantages, however the Europeans had a specific people in mind they were trying to take advantage of, whereas the Chinese it was mainly everyone around them. OK, THIS IS THE SECOND TIME YOU HAVE SAID THIS GENERALLY...WHO ARE THESE MYSTERIOUS PEOPLE THE EUROPEANS ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF...AFRICANS, AMERICANS, WHO? -MrViles 6/7/09 4:09 PM Both China and Europe did some trading to gain more money on their exploration trips. Bringing exotic gifts helped the Chinese to show the world that their society was wealthy. China and Europe also both tried to impress people and gain advantages. This can be said of China because instead of bringing just a few small ships to do some trading, they had many very large ships, altogether carrying about 28,000 men. Europe and China most likely gained some outside influence to their societies when they were traveling. China and Europe brought back gifts from the places they had been to give to their leaders. Both societies were most likely influenced by what they were seeing the explorers do, both were dooing something that had never been done before. This can be said of China because China had mostly developed internally but now they were exploring and trading going very far from home where there were many different cultures. It can also be said that China was gaining more outside influence to their society because Zhenghe himself wasn't the traditional Confucianist or Buddhist, he was a Muslim. BUT THAT INFLUENCE PREDATES EXPLORATION...YES? -MrViles 6/7/09 4:11 PM Europe can be said to have brought back influences on it's society because they had never gone so far along the coast of western Africa. There were probably 'PROBABLY'?.....YOU ARE A RAMPAGING, ESSAY-DESTROYING APE...YOU NEED NEVER USE THE WORD 'PROBABLY', YOU THRASH 'PROBABLY' LIKE A BANANA-STEALING SQUIRREL -MrViles 6/7/09 4:12 PM many tribes that Henry came in contact with when he traded for gold and salt.
Even though there were many similarities in the societies for trading, advantages, and influences, there are still some things that are different between the two. Europe was mainly focused on taking advantages over one specific group of people, whereas China was taking advantages over everyone around them. This can be said because China had many large boats and many men with weapons, and because they weren't sailing focused on one place, they were going all along the coast and to all nearby places intimidating people. Europe, however, was focused on sailing around Africa to avoid the Muslims and possibly have a military advantage. Therefore China was more about showing off to the world and warning them in a polite way not to mess with them. The society of China wasn't used to all this exploration, which is most likely why the expeditions were brought to an end. Europe however, only had certain fears and superstitions about rounding the bottom tip of Africa, but Hienry the Navigator still pursued this goal. OK, THIS PARAGRAPH IS MUDDY, BUT I THINK IT IS THE BEST SO FAR.....FINALLY YOU BRING IN THE MYSTERIOUS GROUP, AND YOU ARE DEAD ON RIGHT, BUT YOU MISS A CHANCE TO FLEX SOME HISTORY ABOUT COMPETITION FOR TRADE BETWEEN EUROPE AND MUSLIM MIDDLE EAST.....WHICH WOULD OPEN UP A CLEAR STATEMENT OF EUROPE USING EXPLORATON FOR TRADE VERSUS CHINA USING IT FOR POMP AND PRESTIGE, ETC. ETC.---YOU SEE? YOU HAVE ALL THE INGREDIENTS IN HERE, BUT IT'S JUST NOT COOKED PROPERLY YET.... -MrViles 6/7/09 4:15 PM
The geography of these areas both had coastline which made their sea travel, trading, and exploring easier, but China had previously been more isolated. The geography of the two areas helped them to complete things they had never done before. In addition, the geography helped them to gain the advantages they did. The sea helped China and Europe both to travel to places unknown to them. THIN...IN THAT THE GEOGRAPHY POINT IS NOT THOROUGH HERE..AND LOOKING AHEAD, YOU COULD HAVE PUT THE NEXT PARAGRAPH WITH TIS ONE FOR A MORE RELEVENT TREATMENT (YOU WERE VERY LIKELY PARAGRAPHING THIS WAY IN REFERENCE TO MY OUTLINE, BUT THIS A GOOD EXAMPLE OF WHERE YOU CAN LEAVE MY GUIDE AND FREELANCE A BIT)--MAKE SENSE? -MrViles 6/7/09 4:18 PM
In contrast, the geography also helped keep China more isolated before the exploration processes began, where as Europe had contact with many other civilizations and gained more from those civilizations than they would have if the Europeans had been isolated like the CHinese. China then used the geography in the 15th and 16th centuries to help them see more of the world, more trade, more exploring, and gain some power. Europe in this time period used the geography to mainly gain the military advantange over the muslims. YOU REALLY NEED TO EXPLAIN HOW THIS EXPLORATION GAVE EUROPE AN ADVANTAGE OVER THE MUSLIMS, WITH THAT INFO THIS BECOMES A ROBUST POINT THAT MAKES YOUR ESSAY, BUT WITHOUT THAT DEVELOPMENT THE ENTIRE ESSAY FEELS VAGUE AND UNSUPPORTED -MrViles 6/7/09 4:21 PM
In conclusion, China and Europe were similar and different in many ways with their goals and outcomes of the exploration process in the 15th and 16th centuries. They had similarities in thier society and geography, which helped both to gain advantages, explore, and trade. They were far apart in distance, but had similar goals and outcomes without even realizing it. THIS CONCLUSION HIGHLIGHTS A DANGER OF YOUR ESSAY, IN THAT IT ONLY HIGHLIGHTS SIM. AND OFFERS NO DIF.'S--IT COLORS THE READER AT THE VERY END TO THINK YOU MISSED HALF THE QUESTION. -MrViles 6/7/09 4:22 PM I JUST RE-READ THE WHOLE THING, AND I FEEL WHAT HAPPENED IS THAT YOU NEVER GOT SPECIFIC ENOUGH ABOUT THE MUSLIM ELEMENT---YOU ALLUDE TO IT SEVERAL TIMES (EVEN YOUR OPENING LINE), BUT YOU SEEM TO ASSUME IT MORE THAN DEVELOP IT....YOU HAD A FRAMEWORK HERE, AND I THINK YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANTED TO SAY, BUT IT ISN'T ON THE PAGE....YOUR INSIGHT TO EMPHASIZE THE MUSLIM TRADE/REL. CONFLICT WITH EUROPE AS SETTING FOR EUROPE'S EXPLORING IS DEAD ON, BUT IT NEVER REALLY LIFTS OFF. WAS IT TIME? LET ME KNOW IF I CAN HELP SPEED UP THE PROCESS FOR YOU -MrViles 6/7/09 4:24 PM